“How do I upload myself to the Cloud?” and other related queries

Introduction

“I want to be uploaded to the Cloud,” I told some friends on New Years Eve. (Full disclosure: I binge-watched all of Black Mirror Season 4 the day before.)

They (very reasonably) responded, “what the fuck?”

(For anyone who had to Google it, like I did, the Cloud is just another term for the Internet, or something.)

On January 2nd, I wrote down my new year’s resolutions, which ranged from “drink as much caffeine as you want” to “stop calling yourself a void — it makes people uncomfortable.” What I really should have written was write more. And put it on the web, where it can live forever.

So on the premise of leaving behind a digital legacy far greater than that of an Instagram aesthetic or a Facebook footprint, I created Blog Free or Die.

“Is there a theme?” you ask.

“There’s always a theme!” – Mindy Kaling, The Office, Season 5: Ep. 7

The theme is College Life™️ and I am writing under the (probably false) assumption that I can offer a unique perspective to the echo-chamber that is now the Internet. 

I’m not one for numbers, but let’s look at some for a second: as a 20-year-old, two years in college is equal to 10% of my entire life (fact-check?). I’ve spent 10% of my life experiencing something that is both completely ubiquitous and extraordinarily unique to this generation. (Are we Generation Z or are we millennials?) You’d think you’d be good at something you’ve been doing for 10% of your life; I’m here to tell you that that assumption is incorrect, college is very hard and in fact this blog contains all of the problems and none of the solutions.

College GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Not to mention the fact that the college I attend is located in the middle-of-nowhere, New Hampshire; dear ol’ Dartmouth, give a rouse. Academic rigor aside, life at Dartmouth could be (objectively) described as complex. And contrary to what any person from my home state of Massachusetts might tell you, I do not, in fact, attend UMass Dartmouth.

This blog cannot help you pass multi-variable calculus, or do your taxes, or message the guy/girl you met on Tinder, or motivate you to workout, or give you a ride home when it’s -5 degrees out and you don’t want to walk, or get you an internship at Goldman, or find you a formal date, or redirect the Bomb Cyclone so that it doesn’t hit the Northeast (read: this blog is useless).

However, I sincerely hope — as sincere as one person on a laptop can be to another person on a laptop — that you’ll at least find enjoyment in reading about my everyday experiences. 

TL;DR: this is a blog about college. 

2 thoughts on ““How do I upload myself to the Cloud?” and other related queries”

  1. I love it! I think it’s a great way to start off! I particularly like your side notes and parenthetical phrases lol. And your picture is dope as well. Good luck with your future blogs!

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